I’ve had enough of living I want to die
My name has painted shame across the sky
Of those who say they cared, I seen their lie
I’ve seen enough of life to want to die

So now the question stands the deed be done
But how to carry out. . .the plan to come
To keep my soul unstained from suicide
I need accomplices...to take my life

Not partners I employ...unknowing “friends”
Who’ve planned their crimes of death...for their own ends
And if I happen by...as terror reigns
to fall within her grasp...am I to blame?

At night I take these thoughts to sleep
and hope a guide will come to me
to lead my path where death awaits
I pray the lord my soul to take

God bless brother and sister and Stalin and Hitler

I dream of London, streets of fog
As generals plan for German dogs
for air raids not yet quite prepared
my dreams have shown, I must be there

So nights I walk quite openly
beside the Thames and hopefully
the German bombs will drop and blow
and end my suffering, take my soul

And finally I hear that drone
And find the deepest danger zone
Explosions ring around my ear
And kill the sane but leave me here

For weeks this nightly ritual
Consumes my mind but leaves my soul
As horror claims the innocent
Yet locks my life in black torment

And fading memories of days before
Of death and pain I sought
And dreams I thought I once tried to ignore
of death and pain I brought

But oh so long ago…

At night I take these thoughts to sleep
and hope a guide will come to me
to lead my path where death awaits
I pray the lord my soul to take

God bless brother and sister and Johnson and Nixon

In 20 years I’ve hardly changed
Except the dreams have rearranged
A jungle country I have seen
Will be the site for my release

VietNam the dreams have shown
the bombs will fall, the terror grow
my chance for sanctuary from pain
I must go now to stake my claim

A Northern rice farm hires me
to aid the harvest annually
They laugh the bombs of USA
Will never touch their ancient ways

But I know better, I wait with hope
I’ve seen the paddy’s darm with smoke
I sleep amidst the open fields
inviting death to which I yield

And death arrives, but here I stand
I’m spared the fate which I demand
The village slaughtered to the ground
Mai Lai is gone, I’m never found

And fading memories of days before
Of death and pain I sought
And dreams I thought I once tried to ignore
of death and pain I brought
but oh so long ago...

At night I take these thoughts to sleep
And hope a guide will come to me
To lead my path where death awaits
I pray the lord my soul to take

God bless brother and sister and McVeigh and Bin Laden

Another 30 years I pray

for dreams to show my soul the way
to cast the pain of life aside
remaining pure in death divine

A dream once showed some scenes of death
I disregard as incorrect
An Oklahoma building blew
and high school shootings...can’t be true
But just the other night I saw
mass murder on the newslines call
A freak event combining hate
with terrorists, I can’t be late

New Amsterdam I called it once
in olden days when I was young
But on reflection, young I’ve stayed by time untouched, yet broke by pain

So to the tallest tower I
have made my way hoping to die
An early autumn morning sees
two flying bombs approaching me
to god in heaven, answer please
why have you chose so long to see
me live in pain and pray release
before you sent this death for me?

But for my answer I still stand
the planes both missed me crashing spans
below my floor now filled with fire
considering my funeral pyre

It’s burn to death or jump to hell
and maybe now it’s just as well
for in the past I’ve met with death
by others hands as others breath
have stopped because my presence there unbalanced plans of fate somewhere
and took the rest but left my dreams to make the next reality

And fading memories of days before
have just come into view
And dreams I thought I once tried to ignore have now come true
and I was always there

I damn my soul eternally
Gods’ marionette no longer me
To sail the winds of history
attracting death is not my dream
I break the window, dive for street
but as I land atop a priest
I kill him instantly and wake
still praying lord my soul to take

God bless brother and sister and Me